Birth & Labor trauma Therapy
Birth and Labor Trauma Therapy
You just wanted a healthy baby.
Your baby's healthy now but you're still feeling unsettled. You’re still upset about the birth of your baby. You didn’t expect it would happen the way it did and remember every last detail. It was supposed to be a happy time but it wasn't. You feel alone and confused. Your heart hurts when you reflect on that day and everything after that.
Being a mom was all you ever wanted.
You just knew that you always wanted to be a mom. It was supposed to be a beautiful experience. The plan was for it to be a natural birth, if at all possible. Everyone told you that you were glowing. And, you felt like you truly were glowing inside.
You set up the baby's room. Talked to your other children about the new baby. Played music for and talked to your baby in utero. Made sure the dogs barked enough, so the baby would be used to them. Ate all the right foods.
But no one ever told you that you would not have a beautiful experience. No one ever said that a childbirth experience could be so upsetting even after you and your baby get through it.
You read all the pregnancy books and thought you knew what to expect but until someone's been through it, no one book can really prepare you for childbirth. You wonder who can you even talk to when other moms describe it as wonderful and perfect. It hasn’t been that way for you. It hasn’t been for many women.
A lot happened during and after your baby's birth.
Your baby may be healthy now but you're still worried and wondering why having a healthy baby doesn't make it better. You're wondering why you're still worried about your baby or other children in a big way, and you're exhausted from the constant worry.
You remember having to go into labor on an emergency basis. You were rushed. No time to think about everything you learned about having a natural childbirth, staying calm, breathing. All those Lamaze classes were hard to remember in those moments.
The fear was all you could feel.
Then, your baby was born and spent time in the NICU. As much as you could, you spent time with your baby. Your baby was so fragile.
You felt helpless and didn't know what to do because there wasn't anything you could do. You felt like you had to make all these decisions and either way, the decisions never felt right. Even with the direction of specialists, you still felt the weight of wondering whether you would make the right decision. You wonder where you went wrong.
Your baby got home and you were anxious. You wondered if your baby was still breathing at night. You couldn’t sleep. Then, your baby started sleeping better throughout the night and you still woke up wondering if they were breathing at night.
Effects of Birth & Labor Trauma
Plenty of time has passed now but you’re still worried. You may feel overwhelmed, anxious, and easily startle. And, it all feels connected to the day your baby was born and everything that happened that day.
You're afraid if you're happy, something else will happen.
You feel like you did something wrong or have started telling yourself if you had done just one thing differently, it would have not been this way. You have friends and family members who had babies and everything was fine. No one can relate. No one gets this. You don’t want to think about this anymore.
You’re asking yourself why your body failed you and wondering if you somehow failed your baby.
You may be asking yourself why this is still affecting you today if it's been weeks, months, or even years since this happened.
What are the common signs of birth & labor trauma?
A birth trauma can cause you distress because of what you experienced during the birth of your baby but it can also refer to what you experience after your baby's been born. It can affect you immediately following the birth of your baby, but can also affect you months, weeks, or years later.
Common Symptoms of Birth & Labor Trauma
Distress caused by physical and/or emotional experiences you and/or your baby went through during childbirth.
Difficulty making decisions
Feeling anxious about parenthood
Sorrow, guilt, anxiety
Depression
Helplessness
Avoiding conversations, places, people, or situations that remind you of the labor and birth of your baby
Feeling disconnected or detached from others
Trouble sleeping
Fear in relation to any reminders such as, smells, sounds of hospital machines, hospitals in general, doctor appointments, etc.
Difficulty in feeling connected in your relationships due to not feeling understood and/or supported after your experience.
You’re not alone in your thoughts, feelings, and experiences after going through a birth trauma. But you did nothing wrong. You may be able to tell yourself this and others do, too, but you don't really believe it because of how you still feel about this.
The reality is that many women struggle after birth trauma but it feels like you're alone. It isn’t always a magical experience and you need a safe space to work through this without feeling judged. You need to feel validated and work through the birth trauma without someone demeaning you or acting as though you’ve missed out on something.
Being allowed a safe space to grieve what you thought was going to be a joyous experience or anything different is completely OK!
How can birth trauma counseling help?
In therapy, your experience won’t be minimized and know that you're justified in your thoughts and feelings surrounding your experience no matter what it's been like for you.
You can be the mom you want to be without constantly worrying, second-guessing yourself, or anxiously parenting your child because you fear something will go wrong at any given moment.
I’ll support and guide you in recovering from the unexpected, traumatic, or difficult experiences you've faced from a birth trauma. You can begin to explore and work through why you still feel anxious, confused, unable to speak about it, and "emotional."
We'll work together so you can move through the fear of something bad happening to your child and learn how to process this in a way where you begin to feel better and gain a sense of control over your thoughts and feelings about this.
Birth trauma therapy can help you experience more joy and less anxiety when you recall that day. It can help you parent your child and other children with confidence instead of parenting with anxiety. You can think of your child's future without experiencing so much fear or worry and enjoy the relationships you have with your baby, children, and other loved ones.
You can expect birth trauma counseling to help you heal from this and discover that you can experience happiness again. Birth trauma therapy will guide you towards putting into words the questions, feelings, and fears you have that you may be afraid to say aloud. You can also work through these difficult thoughts and emotions in therapy, and move through any unresolved grief that may still be present.
We'll work together to help you finally feel a sense of control and peace over this experience. You can get through this and I can help.
You think you did something wrong.
how i can support you
EMDR
You may wonder about the word “trauma.” You wonder if it even pertains to you. It’s not uncommon for others to compare their own trauma and experiences to that of others they deem as having been through “worse” than what they’ve been through. But that’s not for others to decide; you get to decide about your experiences.
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People Pleasing
“The only people who get upset about you setting boundaries, are the ones who were benefitting from you having none.”-Unknown Author
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WE’RE IN THIS TOGETHER.
you don’t EVER have to do this alone.
Ready to Get Started?
The best way to get started is to book a complimentary 20-minute phone consultation to see if birth trauma therapy is right for you.